Are the London Olympic games safe from a zombie attack?

While the London 2012 are going ahead full steam, some people are asking hard questions, which the government has not been able to answer:

Are the London Olympic games safe from a zombie attack?

The British Zombie Extermination Society (BZES) has been raising the warning bells for quiet some time, and people are beginning to take notice.

“They are all focussed on terrorists. But in their blind focus on terrorists, they are ignoring a bigger threat: That of a zombie invasion.”

And indeed, all the security measures assume terrorists will launch a traditional attack, so all security measures, like army platoons, helicopters etc are focused on that.

Lessons from history

“Have we learnt nothing from history? Don’t we know that normal military techniques are useless against zombies? What is wrong this government?” said Dr Doohickey, President of BZES. “We need to have a co-ordinated zombie invasion strategy. This may involve launching  pre-emptive strikes against known zombies”.

On the other hand, zombie activists are outraged. Unt Nahs , who we have previously featured for this blog, had this to say. “I find the attitude of the BSEZ disgusting. Because of one zombie attack in the 1960′s, now all zombies have to justify themselves? I am outraged at this open deadism (editor note: discrimination against dead people). I have been un-living respectfully within society for the last 20 years, and now I have to prove I am not the enemy?”

But public opinion is against people like Nuh. A recent poll showed that 80% of the people were slightly or highly scared of zombies. Another 65 % said they should be killed on sight, even if they had never killed anyone. Many citizens would support war with the zombies, even if it makes the zombie problem worse.

The government has refused to comment, saying it does not discuss national security matters with bloggers who have nothing better to do with their lives than blog about zombies.

With extra reporting by Shantnu Tiwari. Keep watching this space for more news.

5 thoughts on “Are the London Olympic games safe from a zombie attack?

  1. Piper Bayard

    You make some great points here. For real security, there should be crossbow stations every 1000 feet. Or meters, since it’s London. Also, signs on every corner with instructions on how to recognize shamblers as distinct from British politicians. As for the zombie activists, perhaps if they were half as outraged by the misbehavior within their own ranks, people would trust them a bit more. Terrific post, Shantnu. :)

    1. Shantnu Tiwari

      Thanks Piper. I will pass on your comments to Her Majesty, the Queen of Britain, when I meet her next week. I’m sure she will take heed of them.

      PS- UK uses a mish mash of feet and meters. Maybe we should fix that too, after we have stopped the zombie invasion :)

  2. Pingback: The End is Near (and we deserve it). . . . School Misspells Its Own Name for Nine Years « Author Piper Bayard

    1. Shantnu Tiwari

      Lol. Unfortunately, I’ve used the Dr Doohickey name a few times now, in different blogs. I’m starting running out of names…. :)

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