The Toilet Paper Conspiracy

The Toilet Paper Conspiracy

Terrorists have decided to hit the West where it will hurt the most: their bowels.

Now two super spies will teach the terrorists a lesson they will never forget: Nobody touches our toilet paper and lives to tell the tale.

A short story, starring Jack, an evil space monkey aficionado, and Shakespeare, an imposter importer of burkhas (this time).

 

 

 

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Characters:

Jack and Shakespeare: Two super spies, their only weakness is their addiction to beer. They are sent on a mission to teach the Mizbullah a lesson after they destroy all the toilet paper in the UK.

Mizbullah : Not related to the other terrorist organization with a similar name (cough cough). They want to teach the West a lesson, and destroy the country of Kissrael. They are based in Burkhastan.

Burkhastan: A country in the Middle East. Their chief export are burkhas. They have turned burkha making into an art form, creating air conditioned burkhas, burkhas with inbuilt laptops, even bullet proof burkhas. All women and most men are required to wear a burkha in the country.

Quotes

Planning to break into the Burkhastani Army base:

“The Army base is one of the most well guarded places in the country. It is almost impossible to break into. Our source even says the place is guarded by dragons and werewolves.”

“Dragons and werewolves?” Jack looked at Shake, who just shrugged. “How reliable is that intelligence, sir?”

“As reliable as always. I’m reading this info from the normal source: Wikipedia. It’s never wrong about such things, you know.”

Shakespeares to Jack:

“I love the smell of burnt toilet paper in the morning”

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