The Zombie’s Life Is In Danger
John Doe pretends to be a zombie to avoid paying taxes. His life is great… until he gets caught in a war between two secret societies. Soon his house has been burned down and he is on the run.
Vishnu feels his bosses are up to no good. For one, they have been stealing donuts. Second, they have been murdering the employees. But Vishnu also has a secret. He was bitten by a radioactive cow when he was a teenager, turning him into the superhero Cow Man.
Jack and Shakespeare are stuck in Burkhastan, with millions of burkhas everywhere, and not a beer in sight. They need to get back home and get some beer, before the heat or the religious police get them.
The lives of these heroes are entangled when they are thrown together in a conspiracy that may mean the end of the world. Are the heroes up to the task? Will they survive? Is the world safe? (If you don’t want to read the book, the answers are Yes, Yes and Yes!
John Doe: A nerdy guy who pretends to be a zombie to avoid paying taxes. But then he attracts the wrong sort of attention from a very dangerous group…….
Sir Fluffy from Fife: John Doe’s dog. He is a Knight of the Fluffy Clan. John wouldn’t last 2 days without him (or so he thinks).
Vishnu: A call centre worker, he is secretly the superhero Cow Man. His story isn’t inspired from any 70’s Bollywood movies….
Jack and Shakespeare: Two super spies, their only weakness is their addiction to beer.
Mary Sue: She is earth shatteringly beautiful, has two gravity defying “assets”, and is also a super heroine. Her day job is saving little puppies, and at night she fights crime. She looks perfect. But is she?
Dumpty: A “superhero”, his power is he can see through women’s clothes. A fat and funny guy, he is more than he seems.
The Rulers: Also known as the Secret Rulers of the World. A secret group that controls the world, and is now planning to enslave it. Very violent and cunning.
The ToothPick Sellers Association: Make really popular toothpicks. Plan the invasion of Woodistan so they can get cheap wood.
Woodistan: It has a lot of natural resources (wood), so the West invades it. But the official reason is to stop Woodistan from getting WMDs
“How dare you hit a woman, you pig? Have you no shame?”
“She isn’t covered completely. Look, I can see her wrists,” he said to her slowly, like she was a child.
But she wasn’t impressed by his patience. “And that gives you the right to go around hitting women? What are you, the morals police?”
“Actually, yes I am. It says right here,” he said, pointing to his badge. It said clearly “Religion and Morality Protection Police Force.” Couldn’t these women read?
“Please don’t kill me. I have a family, a small goat. How will my goat survive, if you kill me?”
Jack grabbed him by the throat. “You should have thought of that earlier. Besides, what do I look like? President of the goat protection society?”