Hot off the press!
Today the government of <Insert your choice: Hamerica, Bling-Land, or Brance> announced that they will close the tax loop hole in <choose: movies, phones, pig farming, CDO in pig farming>. This has investors up in arms.
“How will we make money without using these tax loopholes and even outright tax fraud?” said Dr Doohikcey, MBA.
Guber-mint is anti business!
Investors are panicking. “It’s not like we have heard of Warren Buffet or Peter Lynch. The only way we know to make money is through tax loopholes. Why do you think we donate so much money to political parties” said another one, sweating profusely.
“If the Guber-mint closes all the tax loopholes, we will be actually forced to learn about how the market and economy works, and who wants to do that? I didn’t become a tax lawyer / chartered accountant for this!” said another, highly educated gentleman.
Managers of wealth funds are also angry. “If this commie behaviour continues, we maybe forced to leave the country. Don’t you know the rich and wealthy are very mobile, and can leave the county any time they want? If they can’t gamble on derivatives linked to the price of pigs and number of celebrity shows on TV, and then claim a tax credit on it, they will leave this country for other countries that do allow them.”
Investors willing leave country
Indeed, we have found several “investors”,who always carry their suitcase and passport everywhere they go. One said on condition on anonymity. “I am willing to travel at a moments notice. Any time a country changes it’s tax laws, I leave. I have changed 372 countries in the last two years itself”.
Critics have accused the government of being business unfriendly. “Doesn’t the government know that people who commit tax fraud as usually the most honest people, who invest their hard earned tax fraud money back into the economy to create jobs? And the government is punishing these people? How ridiculous is that? It’s not like these people are moving their money into offshore accounts or anything” said a lobbyist.
The government originally refused to back down, but after a few lobbyists visited them, and left a few black bags full of cash (by mistake, of course), the government has agreed to soften it’s stance. “We do have to care what the business community thinks” said an official.
This blog is dedicated to all those who waste so much time moaning about and trying to change the tax laws, and very little time on trying to improve their business process. Thank you guys, you have truly inspired me.